Slow meandering, messy process. That's life.
I've come to realise our lives on the whole are not at all tidy, and rather than feel as though it's a failing, I have started to think it's more an organic way to be and you know? that's ok. We live, we learn. (and we laugh about it a lot)
There may be pieces which are organised, orchestrated and planned to perfection but realistically, they can often be in the midst of chaos. Let's be honest.. you may be one of those people who can write lists of their next weeks meals and actually stick to them or sit and make new years resolutions and work like heck to honour your hopes, but if you fail on a daily basis with something else, that's totally ok too. There has to be a balance.
After suffering for 25 years with severe anxiety, It took around 5 months of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) talking openly about it, and working on it daily to understand and undo my perfectionist thought processes. They clung along with my every move, chatting away in mindless conversations, making me nervous to even walk out of the door incase I did something wrong, or didn't quite meet other peoples expectations. Afterwards I would make myself suffer with thoughts of inadequacy for the rest of the day. I didn't even realise they were there. Noisy and intrusive, but I don't think I ever really questioned them. I learned to ask if they were really true and most of the time, they really weren't. What helped most was being able to remove the shame I felt, for not feeling like a 'real' person. Who is that anyway?
Talking openly about my mental health has been more of a therapy than any medical route. Sharing thoughts and real life with others is comforting and grounding, and having a community of people there to support each other, makes a world of difference. In a lifetime where we can communicate in 100 different ways, I feel it's important to find your own safe place, you're own community of friends and really listen.
We recently watched an interview with Simon Sinek, if you've not heard of him before, he wrote the book "start with WHY?" He's pretty inspirational and always has us re-evaluating things. In this interview in particular he talks about our connections with each other, how communication is the key to a happy, more conscious life. His delivery of this message is so powerful, it's quite scary to think what may happen if we forget to use our faces, hands and voices to keep in touch with ourselves and each other.
I've included the video below, have a watch if you've got a spare 30 minutes. Let me know what you think?